Being There
by Unbowed-Unbent-Unbroken
Summary: Who will be there for John when his brother dies? I know there are a lot of mistakes in this story about John's past so forgive me
1. Chapter 1

John Munch strolled into the 1-6 precinct; taking his seat at his desk he began working on some paper work. As John was finishing the last of his work his phone rang, _and so it begins _John thought as he answered the phone with a "Munch" he listened for the person on the other end to talk "hello?" he then listened as he heard sad sobs coming from the other end. It was his sister-in-law she had told him that there was a horrible accident and that his brother had passed away and that his funeral was this weekend. John listened to what she was saying is disbelief and not knowing what to say he hung up. Sitting there he stared across the room into space until it registered in his mind and tears started to fall.

"Are you alright?" he heard a voice and didn't answer. "John?" the voice said again. It wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder did he snap out of his trance.

"What?" he asked shaking his head.

"Are you ok" John had realized who the voice belonged to none other then Olivia Benson.

"No…I'm not okay…my sister-in-law just called-" John's voice broke before as he spoke his next words "my brother died"

"Oh…John, I'm so sorry" Olivia said rubbing his back gently.

"I have to go to his funeral this weekend" John spoke in a trance again before getting up and vanishing into the captain's office.


	2. Chapter 2

John sat on his bed looking down at his feet and thinking about all the good and bad times he had with his brother. Tears fell from his closed eye lids and down to the floor as he angrily took off his glasses and dug the heel of his palm into his eyes. He whipped the last tear from his eye just as there was a knock at his door.

"Liv? What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see if you were ok" Olivia looked at the broken man in front of her and saw the redness of his eyes and knew he had been crying. John walked away from her and over to the couch. Olivia watched his as he did so and allowed herself entrance to his apartment. She following his movements sat beside him as he put his head in his hands and shook his head.

"I can't…I can't" was all John said.

"What can't you do?" Olivia asked confused.

"I can't go to the funeral…I can't be there when they put my brother in the ground…I'm not strong enough" John confessed.

"John…you're the strongest person I know. You have to go…you have to be there for your family" Olivia said placing her hand over his.

"Will you come with me?" John looked up into her eyes, which held a pleading look "please" the question had come to a shock to her but none the less she agreed.

"Of course I will" she smiled at him and squeezed his hand tightly and for the first time since he found out about his brother's death he smiled too.


	3. Chapter 3

The car ride to the church had been long and quiet as neither of them knew what to say. Once John pulled into the parking lot of the church they saw many people standing outside and hugging each other as they whipped away tears. John had helped Olivia out of the car and they walk up to the church together.

"John" John's sister-in-law came up to him and hugged him tightly. Her eyes were red and puffy and she held a tissue in her fist which was clenched.

"I'm so sorry. How are the kids taking it?" John asked as he pulled away from the hug.

"Not good" was all she said.

"This is Olivia Benson" John said stepping aside presenting Olivia.

"I'm so sorry for your loss" Olivia said shaking the woman's hand.

"Thank you…we'd better get inside" she said as she disappeared inside. John stood outside looking at the church, his legs unable to move.

"Are you alright John?" Olivia asked.

"I can't go in" John chocked. Olivia said nothing but grabbed his hand and squeezed it showing him she was there for him and taking a step he followed slowly beside her.

"I'd like to ask Bernie's brother John to say something" John was caught off guard at his sister-in-laws request. He looked over to Olivia scared and Olivia smiled.

"You'll be okay" she whispered. John got up and stood in front of the podium.

"Thank you all for coming…As kids Bernie and I were inseparable…We use to do everything together ride bikes, go to school…we even had the same friends. When our father died we promised each other we'd always be there for one another" John's eye glistened with tears as he fought to keep them back. "We always were…I was his best man at his wedding and at the birth of my nephew…there was nothing we couldn't tell each other. And now he's gone but his memory will live on…" John allowed one tear to fall as he closed his eyes. He stepped down from the podium and took his seat next to Olivia who once again grabbed his hand.


	4. Chapter 4

After the reception John had driven Olivia home and she had asked him if he wanted to come up so he could just talk and let it go. He had accepted and now he was sitting on her couch.

"I can't believe he's gone. Why did this happen? He was a good man, he had a family!" John said standing up quickly and walking over the window, trying to calm himself down. Olivia walked behind him and rubbed his back gently.

"I know John. It isn't fair"

"Why couldn't have been me in that store instead of him? What do I have? All I have is the job. Nobody needs me" John said as he sighed and leaned his arm against the glass of the window his forehead on his arm.

"That's not true John. The hundreds of women and children that you've helped, they all need you. Fin needs you. The squad needs you" Olivia said turning to face him.

"Fin doesn't need me he can easily find another partner"

"What about me, John? I need you" Olivia said stepping closer to him. John turned to her and ran his hand through her hair and leaning down he kissed her gently and she kissed him back. When they pulled apart they left their foreheads touching John whispered

"I need you too" John had found what he needed to live for.


End file.
